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Thursday, April 28, 2005
Starring as the Molecule Man: Jeff Bridges
With the news that Marvel is teaming up with Paramount to make all their new films in-house people are wondering if this will change the tide for Marvel's success at the box office. BeaucoupKevin notes that the last batch of movies have not exactly set the world on fire (I suppose if Avi Arad had to start wearing a bracelet to remind himself not to going along with a mess like Elektra he'll be tattooing his face because of Man-Thing). So what's the remedy? Why, it's something Marvel has known about for years.
You need people to get interested in your vast array of properties. You have one studio to do it all in. In a comic book you'd come up with a company wide crossover. In a movie you'd make it an "epic trilogy" of sorts. The answer is clear people: Secret Wars I II and III (scroll down). Take all the characters that Paramount now has the rights for, have the Beyonder send them to a different dimension and have them all fight it out. If that’s not a plotline that can sustain three movies, I don’t know what is.
It’s true that because the rights are all tied up this is a cinematic crossover that cannot include Iron Man. Or Daredevil. Or Wolverine, Cyclops, Jean Grey…really none of the X-Men. Spider-Man would like to show up but he’d have to talk it over with his lawyer and the paperwork would be horrendous. Yet, true believers, all hope is not lost. Captain America can still show up to this mighty battle. Nick Fury can be there to explain stuff and/or be gruff with people; it’s what he usually does when he appears. There’s still room for such powerhouses as Starfox, D-Man, Moondragon, Frog-Man and Gargoyle. Not to mention Thor, he’s public domain! You can stick him in any movie. I can already see people lining up to get a glimpse at what kind of action the team of Cap and Tigra will get into.
Who should helm this massive project you ask? Taking a cue from Sin City it seems the man only man for the job is the one who gave birth to this idea so many years ago. That’s right, if Paramount has any sense they’ll have Jim Shooter direct all three of these films. Not in collaboration with some more established director, either. This should be Shooter all by himself ordering actors around sets and saying when to roll. Having Shooter’s butt in the director’s chair only smells like one thing: success.
I don’t know if Marvel or Paramount will take such a leap into movie greatness. I can only hope they listen to my idea, as it will surely pay off for them. This is a world starved for groups and groups of superpeople battling each other in bizarre and incoherent scenarios. Why deprive them of such a thrill?
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