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Thursday, July 28, 2005
The director's eye
I don’t know about you but sometimes the superhero movies of today leave me a bit cold. Call me arrogant if you must but I will say that I believe I can do a better job directing these films than the guys reaping in that Hollywood dough right now.
Sometimes I hear a song on the radio and I get a whole scene in my head of what could make up the next comic book-to-film blockbuster. Let me give just a glimpse of some of the ideas I’ve got, some superhero scenes I’d like to see. Play the songs mentioned here while reading for full effect.
Batman 2
The movie opens the camera swooping all over Gotham City at night. The Gorillaz’s “Feel Good Inc.” is the soundtrack. Cut between the shots establishing of Batman’s home is television footage informing us that since the events of Batman Begins Gotham has gone Bat-crazy. There are iPod commercials that have a silhouette of some Bat creature dancing to the songs he listens to. Donald Trump is dressed in a Batman suit and declaring “Donna, you’re Bat-fired.”
During the first hip-hop break of the song we see the Joker’s gang (although not the Joke himself) committing a bank robbery. This is not just any bank robbery; this is a heavily choreographed hip-hop musical number. Breakdancing and modern dance are all thrown in to show the robbers’ bravado and the citizens’ fear.
During Damon Albarn’s second quiet bit we get a wide shot, where outside on Gorham’s street with someone very far away walking towards us. He’s dressed in a stylish purple suit, has green hair and oh so white skin. The screen has a “wavy” look to it, like someone left the gas on too long. While he is staring down at his feet while he walks yet we can tell he has a very large, very knowing grin on his face.
Then, right on cue as the second hip-hop break comes in. The Joker bursts through the bank doors and reveals his face, which is full of manic glee (The Joker will be played by Dave Chapelle). The dancing continues but now The Joker is center stage as the rest of the players move about him in a circle. He fills the place with his laughing gas as the song ends with crazed, high-pitched laughing.
Fantastic Four 2
It’s the inside of Dr. Doom’s new palace in Latveria. For a while there have been rumors of his resurrection at the hands of the country’s greatest scientists (some say Doom planned this all along). We are at one end of the palace’s throne room, where a giant staircase leads to gigantic doors. Along the staircase are platforms where many have waited to see their master’s reappearance. There are the beautiful women of Doom’s harem. There the masked executioners that guard the man. There are even strikingly handsome soldiers, each one thinking of ways to depose this new ruler so they can lead the country.
Suddenly, an excited man in a red tuxedo and with a pencil thin mustache exclaims that the time is here, Doom will now remerge. The soundtrack pumps Louis XIV’s “Louis XIV” into the theater. We see the doors open, but the angle is too high to see anyone enter through them. We see metallic boots step on the stairs and a metallic glove turn into a fist. All the while the people on the staircase looking on are filled with an equal mix of surprised, fear and admiration.
When the singer sings “me, me, me, me is all you think that I care about” we get our first hard look at Victor Von Doom’s face. It’s a cold, steel mask that has plenty of detail to it. Maybe, just maybe, you can hear the fair laugh of a man who knows he has been wronged but will be shown as victorious in the end.
Doctor Strange: The Movie!
We got a shot of Dr. Stephen Strange’s Greenwich Village home, where there seems to be a party going on. Inside there certainly is. It looks like something Andy Warhol, Michael Antonioni and Ken Kesey would get together and put on. The jukebox is playing Donavan’s “Sunshine Superman.” Women whip their long hippie hair all about. Men look suave with their Beatle haircuts and small sunglasses. It’s the biggest happening of 1968!
All during the get together there is talk of when the man of the hour will show up. There are rumors about him swirling. We hear that he’s crazy, a genius, a madman or mixture of the first two. During the fun strange, mystical things keep happening, like people tripping over an old bookshelf and finding themselves sucked into the portal to another dimension.
Then the people stop whatever it is they’re doing and look towards the bedroom. The good Doctor Strange makes his entrances just as soon as Donavan sings “Superman and Green Lantern ain’t got a-nothing on me.” He is all knowing and wise but his lips do hint at a sly smile. Strange will be played by Andre Braugher.
Another scene from Doctor Strange: The Movie!
Now that the gathering of last night is over the Doctor retires to his favorite chair and meditates. He is trying to make his way to another world where something named Dormammu rules with an evil mind. Cream’s “Tales of Brave Ulysses” comes on. The screen goes totally black except for the body of Strange, which we can still see.
As soon as the wah-wah guitar comes in we find Strange and ourselves in a completely different environment. Imagine a mix between Casino Royale and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Strange is used to it, it is no surprise to him. The place is meant to recreate Ditko’s wonderful creations on a movie screen, but all effects must be in camera. No CGI. This film has to look like it’s the most exciting film from 1968.
Iron Man
This from an idea of the esteemed Kid Chris.
It’s a simple enough idea, but it’s effective. Tony Stark, played here by Mario Van Peebles, has given in to the terrorist demands, the terrorists who kidnapped him and the rest of the passengers of Stark Inc.’s private jet.
They demand Stark use his brains to give them a whole new weapon of mass destruction. Stark is in the lab cooking it up but all the while we see the determination in his eyes, how he just may have one-up on these fiends who think Stark is their pawn.
Soon his armor is completed, designed by H.R. Geiger as a continuation of the design Steve Ditko introduced in Tales of Suspense #48. As the camera pans from the ceiling down to reveal the whole costume we hear the opening thuds of Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”. As Stark looks on proudly at the invention that will grant him freedom Tony Iommi’s B minor riff kicks in and everyone knows it’s time to rock.
Just some of my ideas where superhero franchises both old and new could go.
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Hey, if you love superhero movies you’ll love Jeffery Brown! Check out this snazzy review of AEIOU by that mofo Ian Brill! It’ll be fun, fun, fun!!!
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